Open the door, you stupid motherfucker! Open the fuckin' door!
I had the fuckin' keys, Stan!
This is faster.
I need it.
Relax, you'll get it.
I need it so bad.
Get the fuckin' door, Johnny!
Come on!
No! Honey, don't you dare go down there!
Yes, it's Osman's Drug at 7th and Burdoch.
What the fuck! I thought you knew where the good stuff was!
He always keeps it right in here!
Shit!
I'm gonna count to three.
Or?
Or my wife will be mopping up your blood tomorrow morning.
Yeah, Pops?
You'd shoot your little boy? With that big gun...
...you'd shoot and kill little Johnny D.?
You ain't gonna shoot your little boy!
- Shut up! - You shut the fuck up!
And help Johnny D. Find the good shit!
Cops!
No, don't!
I live here!
Do you want to fuck around?
Come on, you motherfucker!
You want to play with me? Let's do it!
Did you find any?
What?
Let's go.
Come on!
Sit down!
Sit down, you ugly bitch!
Put her in the chair.
You're not only ugly, you're stupid, too.
Get smart with me and I'll rip your face off!
Now then...
...what's your name?
- Maggie. - Full name.
Blowjob.
Maggie Blowjob.
Go ahead. Grin away.
We'll put you on Death Row, you'll lose that grin real quick.
Here.
Sign that. I don't have any more time for your bullshit.
Can I have a pencil?
Having been found guilty of the crime of murder...
... it is the judgment of this court that you be sentenced to die by lethal injection.
You are hereby remanded to the federal prison in Pleasanton...
... where you shall remain until your sentence is carried out.
And may God have mercy on your soul.
Motherfuckers!
No... no!
Please wait for my mom!
Wait, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Wait till my mommy comes!
Wait for her!
You've got to tell my mom! My mom will come and get me!
Mommy!
Hi.
I'm Bob.
Is that "Maggie" short for "Margaret"?
Mister, what is this place?
Where am I?
You're dead. At least, that's what everybody thinks.
Your funeral.
We staged it Saturday afternoon.
You're buried here. Oakmont Cemetery.
Plot 48, row 12.
- There's your father. - Didn't my mother come?
No, your mother, she...
You know you can't get out.
I work for some people.
"The government," let's call them.
We've decided to give you another chance.
Is that about me?
Yes, it is.
You know a lot about me.
We do.
So...
...you're gonna give me this chance?
What do I gotta do?
Learn, Maggie.
Learn to speak properly, learn to stand up straight, for a start.
Learn languages, computers, and so on.
Do something to help your country, for a change.
What if I'm not interested?
Row 48...
...plot 12.
Can I think about it?
Yeah, why don't you think about it?
You've got one hour.
Stupid fucking asshole!
Come on, up! Up!
Which way is out?
This way.
- Who are these assholes? - Just people who work here. It's okay.
Put it down. There's no problem. Just go back to your desks.
Bullshit! Everything's fucked!
Come on. You know you can't get away with this.
Put it away!
Get back to the wall.
Everything's under control.
- Open it! - I can't!
- Open the fucking door! - I can't.
- Tell them to do it! - They won't.
I'll blow his fucking brains out!
They still won't do it.
Just give me the gun.
Good girl.
Just put it down.
Come on, Maggie.
You're too smart to fight these odds.
It's okay.
It's okay. Put it down.
Rule number one:
Never chamber the first round.
That'll slow you down for a while...
..."Maggie for Margaret."
So?
What's it to be, yes or no?
What if I said I have a couple of questions and that I need some more time?
What if I said there is no more time?
What if I said you can kiss my ass right in the crack?
What's it gonna be, yes or no?
I'm gonna have a few things that I'll need.
I'm gonna need some stuff.
I need some music.
Some good music.
I'm gonna want some Nina Simone.
Nina Simone.
Yeah, and...
I want some more pain killers.
My leg is fuckin' killing me.
Is that it?
I'll make a list.
You do that, Maggie.
Bet your fuckin' ass.
We're gonna start with a simple program first.
This is just like a typewriter keyboard. You got letters here...
...numbers here. Return, okay?
Tab... Wait, wait, wait.
This is a mouse.
You use this to write with, draw, save... Things like that.
See the roller? Roll that around and watch the screen.
Good, good.
Wait!
Wait, wait. Real easy, okay?
Real easy. Like that. Now move the arrow down to where it says, "Play."
Right here, click once.
Pay attention, Maggie.
- Can we make the dinosaur eat him? - You want to make the dinosaur eat him?
Very good, very good.
Feel a little bit more relaxed.
You.
I can't. My leg hurts.
That's okay. We're just working on reflexes. It'll be easy. Come on.
I've taken my guard. See if you can hit my face.
Hit me. Come on, hit me.
Hit me. Hit me. Come on.
Always smile when you enter a room, dear.
It relaxes others, and it lifts the features of the face.
You know what "Nature's first green is gold" means?
"Nature's first green is gold."
It means that the first is best...
...that youth is better than old age.
You have the gift of youth. That is what we'll build on.
It's charming, my dear, but it doesn't address my point.
Put the gum here.
That's better.
Sit down.
Are you an ugly duckling...
...or a swan?
Because the choice is yours, you know.
Belief is half of being.
It's a fancy way of saying, if you believe you're pretty...
...then you will be pretty.
You'll see.
What do you do when you're most uncomfortable?
When you're angry or scared?
I hit.
You might want to try smiling.
Just smile a little smile and...
...say something offhand. It doesn't have to fit the situation, really.
Say...
Say, "I never did mind about the little things."
Say it!
Please, dear.
A smile, and the sentence.
"I never did mind..."
"I never did mind...
"...about the little things."
Chin up. Shoulders back.
Have some pride in yourself.
Show me.
Yes, Maggie.
Better. Good.
"I lie down for a nap today.
"Yesterday I lay down for a nap.
"If something unfortunate happens, I feel bad..."
Louder, please.
"I feel 'bad' about it, not 'badly.' 'Bad' is an adjective.
"Remember to say, 'It is a secret between her and me.' Not, 'she and I."'
Turn it down, will you? Please, turn it down.
People are beginning to complain. Why don't you use the headset I got you?
'Cause they're crappy.
You know, you...
This is Nina Simone.
You got it for me, remember?
She wants sugar in her bowl?
No, she's saying:
"Baby, just stick it in me twice a day, and I'll do anything for you.
"I'll lick the ground you walk on."
Why do you talk so dirty?
Why do you talk so faggy?
So, how is it going?
Man, I'm so majorly bored.
Think I'm going crazy. Started talking to myself and all kinds of stuff.
Your reports are excellent.
All right!
So, do I get a reward or something? It's my birthday next week.
Why don't you let me go outside?
Just for one night?
You can have me followed.
Please!
I can't. Okay?
Look, Maggie...
...I know how you feel.
- Bullshit! - Yes, I do.
I used to be a recruit myself.
I used to be where you are now.
And, just like you, I hated every moment of it.
So you understand.
I'm going stir-crazy. Please! Just let me go out for a walk.
I said I can't.
That's it. Okay?
I want to go for a walk!
Girl number five?
Take out the bad guys. Do not shoot the good guys.
You got two seconds for each target.
Understand?
Ready, set...
...and go.
What was that?
- Fun. - Yeah, right.
What is it with you?
Eating should be graceful, yet natural.
If you get a bone in your mouth, take it out with your fingers...
...and put it on the edge of your plate.
No fake middle-class delicacy.
No hiding the bone behind a napkin.
Today we'll start with the entrée.
Let's begin.
Bone!
May I be excused?
You've done better.
She's a pain, but I can bring her around. She's got great potential.
I like her potential, too. She has some mighty nice potential.
So, bottom-line me about this girl.
We need a young female operative. I think she's the one.
Usually, it takes two years. In this case...
Six months.
That's right. I don't want to see any more attitude from her.
Enough with this crap. She bites, she kicks, she throws food... what is that?
So, you got it?
Six months. I want immediate results or she gets a bullet in the brain.
Turn it off.
Ask me why I'm so serious.
Why are you so serious?
Because I've got serious stuff to tell you, "Maggie for Margaret."
First, the good stuff.
Happy birthday.
Okay, now the bad stuff.
Kaufman has drawn a line in the sand.
He says he's not gonna take any more crap from you.
He mentioned the word "bullet" and the word "brain."
You hearing me? Is this going in, Maggie?
Because I want you to know, it's now out of my hands.
Happy birthday.
Will you help me?
Of course. Come upstairs.
All you need is balance. We have to find your feminine strength.
Some moon to go with your sun.
A bit of the poet to balance the warrior.
Don't you want to carry your jacket?
Surely not just for a dinner lesson.
What's worth doing...
...is worth doing well. - You've mentioned that before.
Et tu as pris longtemps pour I'apprendre, ma chère.
J'ai pensé me le faire tatouer sur le bras.
Very good!
You look...
...beautiful.
You've really outdone yourself this time.
Yes, about this one, I am pleased.
Then why do I have to have another dinner lesson after six months?
Or are you afraid I'll revert and put my feet back up on the table?
I think that...
...tonight we should have dinner out.
Really?
Thank you!
Shall we go?
Good evening. Would you like to see the wine list?
No, thanks. Just a bottle of Dom Perignon, please.
Very good, sir.
Thank you.
Don't open it yet.
That's fine.
More than you can possibly imagine...
...I wish you every good thing.
It's loaded.
I don't understand.
A lady and two men are sitting behind you on the balcony.
The man on the right is a VIP.
The other one's his bodyguard.
I want you to put two bullets in the VIP... two bullets minimum.
Then go to the men's room.
In the last stall there's a small window that leads to a courtyard.
There will be a car waiting for you.
Don't do anything till I leave.
You've got three minutes, okay?
It was bricked in.
The window was all bricked in.
Yes, of course it was.
That was your final test.
Motherfucker!
- Stop it! Stop it! - Son of a bitch!
You get out tomorrow!
You get out tomorrow.
That was your last test. You get out tomorrow.
I'm really gonna miss you.
You know that.
I'll never kiss you again.
What level of operation is she ready for?
S-1.
Ambitious as ever.
Don't sit down.
I need her ready by March.
You're gonna love this.
A woman goes into a bar with a duck under her arm.
She orders a few beers. Bartender says, "What're you doing with that pig?"
She says, "This is a duck." He says, "I was talking to the duck."
I was talking to the duck!
I think you're dangerous.
A real loose cannon. If it was up to me we'd put you down, so make no mistakes.
I'm telling you, if you cross on a red light, you are worm bait.
Entiende?
'Bye.
I was talking to the duck.
Your name's Claudia Doran. You're from Chicago. You live in Venice, California.
You're a computer expert for Super Mac. You travel a lot.
Here's your passport, driver's license, birth certificate.
There's cash in here to buy yourself a new car.
Your code name is Nina.
As in Nina Simone?
Yeah.
I'm scared.
You?
That'll be the day.
Go on.
I warned you.
It needs a lot of work!
That's not a urine stain.
It's fully...
Actually, there's another one that's closer to being done.
I'll take it.
All right.
Here's your...
...ravioli.
And your ravioli.
And your...
...oh, my goodness, it's ravioli.
Thanks.
Cammie Swiss Cake Rolls. Now that sounds nutritious.
Sorry. I suppose it's embarrassing to have some fool pawing through your food.
Don't worry about it. I don't get embarrassed.
What do you mean?
Just, nothing embarrasses me.
You mean, ever?
That's great! You'll have to teach me that trick.
Where're you from?
- It's not a trick question. - Chicago.
I'm from Denver.
So I know you're from Chicago, and you love ravioli.
That's a start.
So how does someone get to know you better?
For you, it'd be easy.
Then have dinner with me tonight.
Okay.
Let me guess...
Ravioli?
It's a deal.
All I have to do is show any apartment that's vacant...
...change some light bulbs, sweep the stairs once a week...
...pick up rent checks. For that...
...half off my own rent.
Mostly what I do, though, is work on my portfolio.
I'm a photographer.
I take some good stuff sometimes.
I've sold to some galleries. Weston and Levinson's, you know?
All day, though, all I do is run around...
...and just take care of stuff.
You really like ravioli, huh?
I usually make the first move.
This is fine, too.
This is hard.
Shut up and finish it.
- It's hard as hell. - Shut up and finish it.
Let's go out, get a hamburger...
Shut up and finish it.
I'll call Ned and Karen and see if they want to come.
Sure.
You don't really like them much, do you?
They're okay.
Why don't you ask somebody sometime?
Like who?
I don't know.
A friend. One of your buddies. Somebody you like to hang around with.
You haven't had one person in this place in four months.
I know.
Not one.
'Cause I want only you.
You're so guarded.
I'm not guarded.
- Yes, you are. - No, I'm not.
You're like living with a ghost.
You never tell me anything.
All right. So, then...
...what do you want to know?
I don't know. I want to know what your fifth-grade teacher was like.
I want to know if this pretty face had pimples on it in high school.
I want to meet your friends from work.
I want to know why you listen to Nina Simone when you're in a bad mood.
Forget it.
My mother loved Nina Simone.
She used to play her records all the time.
I grew up listening to this music.
It...
...sounded so...
...passionate...
...so savage.
All about love and loss.
I play Nina Simone when I think about my mother.
- Hello? - Nina?
J.W. Marriott in Century City.
Personnel entrance. One hour.
All right.
'Bye.
Who's that?
I'm about to lose a sale on 500 video cards.
I gotta go all the way to El Segundo.
Hurry back.
I will.
Excuse me.
What do I do?
Change.
Now what?
Now we wait.
Testing, one... two... three.
Good morning. Room service.
Certainly. About 15 minutes. Yes, sir. Thank you for calling.
- What do I do? - Take this tray where I tell you.
- Then? - Nothing.
You take the tray up, give him the tray and you come back down here.
That too much for you?
Thanks.